ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
