toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
