If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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