Dual....:-)
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
