First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
