So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
