At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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