You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
