The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
