apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
