He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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