I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
and you fell through a lawn chair
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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