Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Randomize
