dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
