a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I could fuck to npr.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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