Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
