god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
