Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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