My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
