Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
