I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
