What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I think I won the penis lottery.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
