guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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