Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
