If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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