I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
