Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
