mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
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