How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
