He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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