I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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