If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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