actually, I'm a sock model
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
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