I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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