apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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