Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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