Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Randomize
