you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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