I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
