i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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