My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize