Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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