At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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