Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
