I can feel you judging me through the phone.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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