its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
