i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
