is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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