I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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