The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
